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November 24, 2012

I have tons of pictures of things I have made, that I haven’t found…or MADE… the time to put up on the blog. The things is that usually, if there is something I’m excited about doing, I make time for it…even when I’m tired!  Like the many sewing projects I have started at literally, 1am. Now granted, without electricity, and during weeks when I’m working 80 hours, EVERYTHING extra is difficult to do. But still, it got me thinking…maybe I’m not really digging this blogging about crafts thing as much as I did in the beginning?

Now, there is a certain element of attention deficit in play here. One of the things I have definitely learned about myself through my creative pursuits is that I have a VERY short attention span. That is why as soon as I saw how fast I could complete a project with sewing as compared to knitting, i dropped knitting as fast as could be! Now I reserve it only for when I’m travelling, am without electricity  or am watching TV.  Even with sewing, I don’t usually take on projects that require a lot of planning or would take a lot of time. And those that do, I find some way to simplify. Come to think of it, that is the same reason I never really could handle painting. It just took too long to get a finished project. Well…that and the fact that I’m not exactly good at it… Some people work and work and work on the same painting for months and months. Especially oil paintings. Adding a little bit here and there on this day and that. I could NEVER do that.  I want it to be done in one sitting. Maaaaybe two.

So maybe my boredom with craft blogging is the same thing? Kind of like how I can eat the same cereal for weeks and then I get sick of it and don’t touch it for several months. I don’t know.

But I think overall, I feel like…what’s the point? I don’t think I’m coming up with anything so novel that other people can’t find it elsewhere on the millions of blogs out there. The things I do that ARE different, I will probably continue to post about (like my nursery decor that I have been trying to finish up). But I think what I need is to post a little more about photography, and also about real life stuff. And if people don’t want to read it…oh well…?

For example, I can’t stand how all the mommy blogs I see make it seem like they LOVE being a stay at home mom all the time, and they LOVE sewing all the time, and they LOVE their tantrumming toddlers all the time, and they LOVE cooking dinner, and they LOVE organizing their house…UGH. As much as I am ashamed to admit it…I am most definitely NOT that person. In fact, I spend an inordinate amount of time feeling guilty that I DON’T love that stuff all the time. Which I think is why I felt like I had to stop pretending. But every time I thought about writing how I REALLY feel about things, I felt like…um…would anyone want to read that? Would people think less of me if I admit that sometimes my kids drive me INSANE?


But maybe thats ok. And maybe there are other people that feel the same way

But most of all, does it matter? Maybe being a part-time doctor that does NO creative writing in her life other than the incredibly NON-creative writing in patient charts and a part-time stay at home mom that talks only to toddlers and infants all day leaves me feeling like I need an outlet. If not one else reads it, thats ok. I think it is good for me to just write.

It probably won’t happen that often, but thats ok too. I need to apply the same rules to myself as I do to my friends: EXPECT LITTLE and be happy with what you get. I tend to expect too much of myself, i think.

So when people say “How do you do it all?” I can truly say, “I DONT!” I only do what I can, what I feel like (except for the stuff i HAVE to do) when i can.

And I think the most interesting part of this post is, although it doesnt seem like it, I really spent only about 15 min thinking about this stuff prior to actually writing it. In fact, most of this soul searching…or “blog searching” is happening in real time. I think that’s why I like this exercise of writing…it actually makes me think.

Imagine that!

One Comment leave one →
  1. mukta permalink
    November 25, 2012 9:47 PM

    I like that Subha !

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